Love

Middle Ground

We drove towards a street light with gas and tension in the car. You claimed we needed to make a stop because you remembered how I get when I’m hungry. I resented you for that, being someone I didn’t know anymore, knowing everything about me, but you were right. We went with no expectation, noContinue reading “Middle Ground”

Un-Knowing

You questioned us, so you questioned me, and I just knew I was bound to lose it all. Up until then, I had been praised and promised never to be replaced, to be chosen over and over again by you. But now, in the middle of summer, you weren’t so sure anymore. But it wasn’tContinue reading “Un-Knowing”

A Love Void of Grace

You make so many mistakes because no one taught you how to hold yourself. You travel through and through experiences naming them all love because no one taught you how to recognize it. You stumble upon something that shakes you to your core, it feels familiar, but you’re clumsy and let it go because noContinue reading “A Love Void of Grace”

Only to be with You

I tried not to write about you today. I don’t know, maybe I’m just too fucking sentimental. I also took an attempt to be positive. Demanding you back into my life. It was short-lived. Because no matter what your decision was or what your heart accepted to be true, how it made you feel, isContinue reading “Only to be with You”

Anticipating

Last night the playground had been flooded. The once joyous park now appeared as a cesspool of floating woodchips. I didn’t even check the sky before strapping Nehemiah into his harness and in a routine manner, exiting the front door. The skies were clear. I hadn’t been thinking about your response. On the contrary. IContinue reading “Anticipating”

Holding On

What is it that that binds us?What causes me to sever and yet to never want to leave you alone again. I want to be the one who brings you joy, brings you kisses.I can’t stand the thought of picking up my love for you and moving it into someone else’s heart. Can I hideContinue reading “Holding On”

Coming

Sex is not forgivenessSex is not hoping for the spring of a new kinship or the winter of a dwindling oneSex does not replace emotionSex alone does not satisfySex does not reconnect what has been torn apart by sexSex can’t transform someone you loveSex isn’t a replacement for loveSex doesn’t heal physical wounds or emotionalContinue reading “Coming”

Deepening

I grabbed your soft essence and stroked it to full length. The motions were succinct and yet exactly what I wanted to say. Did you listen? Because I won’t have the courage to tell you again. “I miss you,” I said seductively. I missed you in ways I didn’t know were possible to get back.Continue reading “Deepening”

December Eighteenth

I have to let you go. It’s essential for me, almost crucial that I have you. And if I must give my love over to the possibility, uncertainty will hold my heart. I have to guard my soul against doubt. From the inevitable worry of your well being without me and fear of your resentment.Continue reading “December Eighteenth”

Leaving home

The further I stray from you, the more I can love you.I need for my heart to remain unhinged,to fail at love and discover a new way to let love in.I need to search for you in every man I come across,to convince them to love me so I can convince me that I amContinue reading “Leaving home”

Dear Winter Love

I remember thinking so much about the cold, how winter began us, and brought our end. I remember thinking about how strong I was choosing to stand outside all alone. It became clear that the overwhelming sense of ennui that existed even in the joy of summer was you. That all this time, I wasContinue reading “Dear Winter Love”

My Love/Hate Letter to You

Author Miss Parisia B. I have found more love in pain than I have discovered through your well-intentioned, good for nothing ways of “attempting” to love me. You’re more exhausting than being ignored. Torture caresses me more softly than your warm embrace. God forbid I scratch your surface, and you’ll bleed out all over me.Continue reading “My Love/Hate Letter to You”

Dear Symphony 

Who are you, and what do you want from me? Do you remember when we sat in your car, and it started raining? I stared at the window because I wanted to dance in it with you. There probably wasn’t even enough rain, but the point is you. Where did you come from? Your dark image peered intoContinue reading “Dear Symphony “

Between your world and mine

This exert is inspired by the concept of the body in Ta-Nehisi Coates’ book: “Between the World and Me.” A must read for understanding black identity in America. I was moved to write a letter on how this concept has reared its’ head throughout my life.

Dear Man with the Stories

The first piece in my dedication to Mary-Louise Parker and her book “Dear Mr.You”. It’s composed of letters to all the masculine figures in her life. What follows these coming weeks are the letters to mine. Enjoy 🙂

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