Today I showed up. I don’t show up every day. Some days I have the capacity to show up but my body and soul revert against me. Other days I have every intention to show up but forget to leave everything else behind, forget it takes work, forget it requires blood. The other day I […]

Richard handed me a jar as to say, make yourself useful. I’m pretty sure that’s exactly what he said, “make yourself useful,” no he said, “please help out,” they’re the same to me. Everyone before me churned at the lid with lilting force. One woman gnawed on the corner of its opening like a dog […]

I grabbed your soft essence and stroked it to full length. The motions were succinct and yet exactly what I wanted to say. Did you listen? Because I won’t have the courage to tell you again. “I miss you,” I said seductively. I missed you in ways I didn’t know were possible to get back. […]

My efforts are meek. They represent the chasm between victim and vulnerable. Give me rest. I don’t know how much further I can go. So I sit and suffer, I try and triumph, but I can’t keep the rhythm. Sit and Suffer. Try and Triumph. Sit and Suffer. Try and Suffer. Sit. Sit. Sit. I […]

I think we must have confused who one another was during our first meeting. Your need for freedom seemed to match my passion for death, but consequently, they don’t mix. To be physically free requires life, and well quite frankly while my love for death is freedom, it demands an absence of actualization you weren’t […]

I have found more love in pain than I have discovered through your well-intentioned, good for nothing ways of “attempting” to love me. You’re more exhausting than being ignored. Torture caresses me more softly than your warm embrace. God forbid I scratch your surface, and you’ll bleed out all over me. However, I can’t get […]