To Quinton

I want the evolution of us to be one that is beautiful. Our rise and fall will forever have a seat at the table. It will be an everyday tribute to the truth about love:

The prerequisite for love, is to love yourself.

In the beginning, we were hoping for something I never thought I deserved. We both represented a longing for connection, for freedom, and for one another. What can be expected of two lovers who don’t know what it means to love? We had an idea, but they did not parallel with the other.

So I ran and you pulled. But we never stopped loving, planning, and building. We never stopped trying to become the best version of ourselves. It never crossed our minds that the friendship beneath the tenderness could ever be threatened.

I want the evolution of us to be one that is beautiful. Our rise and fall will forever have a seat at the table. It will be an everyday tribute to the truth about love:

It hurts.

Divorce, rape, false independence. Addiction, infidelity, death. What we lacked, we demanded from each other. What we feared, we demanded to be covered. All our wounds, we forced each other to bandage. And any insecurity revealed, we expanded through dependency on us.

The foundation of love can hold only honor. It can only support the will to set each other free. It thrives off of revealing your own truth and accepting the reality of your imperfection.

I want the evolution of us to be one that is beautiful. Our rise and fall will forever have a seat at the table. It will be an everyday tribute to the truth about love:

The perfection you see in yourself is an illusion. To love, you must reveal you.

Selfishness creeps in. Even with Christ in your heart, faith on your lips, hope in your eyes, and acceptance within your hands – there is still room for doubt, hatred, and resentment.

We allow the idea of where we want to be and where we aren’t separate us from where we stand. It separates us from the love we stand by. And now the foundation is buried under elements that could never yield survival.

I want the evolution of us to be one that is beautiful. Our rise and fall will forever have a seat at the table. It will be an everyday tribute to the truth about love:

It can’t be defined.

Nothing pure can remain in the dark, and bringing anything dishonest to light often leaves you in the dark. But our light is coming and we will one day shine together again.

Our newness will manifest in the lessons its learned. Our lives continue apart but our hearts originate to one another. True longing, even if it pushes someone away, can never inhibit the pursuit of enlightenment. The truth is you’re my forever.

I want the evolution of us to be one that is beautiful. Our rise and fall will forever have a seat at the table. It will be an everyday tribute to the truth about love:

It can always be reborn.

From ashes will rise the chance to fall in love. From our fall we will try once more and finally find our wings. The loss of you stirred a longing in me. Not for everything that’s not when you are gone, but for everything that is when you are here. For the good and the bad. Despite the opinions of others.

In my rebirth, I succumbed to the bottom of any hope. There I discovered the heart behind the matter. I found the truth about the boy who fell in love with the girl who didn’t love herself. I made it back to the beginning, to the night in your car when everything was fair and true. I made it back to you. Back to us, free of any guilt because love demands courage.

I want the evolution of us to be one that is beautiful. Our rise and fall will forever have a seat at the table. It will be an everyday tribute to the truth about love:

Love never dies a natural death. It dies because we don’t know how to replenish its source. It dies of blindness and errors and betrayals. It dies of illness and wounds; it dies of weariness, of witherings, of tarnishings.

― Anais Nin

I will spend all my time nursing our love back to life, giving it the self-evolution and respect it deserves. The love and respect you deserve. And even though I let fear get in the way and in an attempt of clearing the rain, made it pour down, I acknowledge my part and pledge to keep you dry. To build your trust and passion with a newfound understanding of what it means to fight for love: abandoning its “meaning” and examining how it feels.

And if you feel what I feel, then there is no question, no time, no guilt, no resentment, no fault, no wrong, no opinion, no momentary emotion that can eradicate the true love.

I know I once took your breath away and although it turned into strangling you every day, you forgave me.

If we can survive the fall, our rise is the reason for it all.

Miss Parisia B.

6 Comments

  1. All strong long lasting relationship require a “friend”, foundation, never stop feeding it and it must be watered. Good that there is always a chance to tap into the “friend” feelings, stay there so it does not get murky.

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