I am scared by this world. I am scared by the events happening around me. By the people hurting so close to me. Of my own pain.
It terrifies me how a victim of rape, gives everything to me, and yet everything has been taken from her.
It enamors my heart that a woman who suffers from depression may never know how much I love her, how much I need her, and how much I miss her.
How an immigrant, the closest person I hold to my heart, can be taken away from me at any time.
How every day his circumstances lead him to become more and more like me.
It frightens me that the only man I’ve ever loved is sick and I can’t heal him.
How he will never know that he’s already good enough.
That the black man who has liberated me with joy and freed me from pain will forever be chained to the stereotype of what a black man should be.
I am scared by this world. By its strength and the power, it has over the people I love. Every person that I see, I see, and it hurts me.
Tears drip down my eyelids, and I am unable to breathe from my nostrils. I want to give my life for them, to be everything that they need.
So I smile, hug, laugh, and love. But this world is overwhelmingly full of pain, and so much, it’s hard to acknowledge the good.
I am scared by this world. For how it took me under its wings at a young age. For the way I fight every night to escape the false love that it offers me.
So I smile, hug, laugh, and love. I go through the motions and hope it sticks. It never does. So I stand tall, speak loud, and pound my chest to the beat of my own drum….But the truth…. I am scared by this world.
Soon a new day will rise, and I will no longer be fearful because I look into the eyes of the people I love, and though they smile, hug, laugh, and sometimes love, I know they are scared too…
So mothers, sisters, brothers, fathers, nephews, friends, lovers, do not fear…
I got you.
Miss Parisia B.